Bernstein Blog from Hawaii- Day 3

The Sights (Marco Garcia/AP)

Good afternoon my friends, it's been an interesting day. Allow me to recap from Hawaii.

4:19 a.m.- Still living on mainland time, I can no longer sleep in. I toil around on the internet, phone the family and begin my day with some breakfast; as soon as any restaurants open.

8:30 a.m.-
Heading to practice all the way across the island, traffic is really bad. I guess when you think of Hawaii, you don't think of traffic.

9:25 a.m.-
Arrive at the site of yesterday's practice. Notice I say yesterday's practice, because upon my arrival, there are no fans and more importantly no football players. Apparently, I failed to notice a change in the itinerary.

9:45 a.m.-
I arrive at the team hotel demanding answers. Answers were given as it was team photo day. I watched the teams get into their specific groups and take pictures, then it was off the AFC practice.

10:15 a.m.-
John Harbaugh and the Baltimore Ravens coaching staff led the team out on the field, and although it was certainly laid back with no helmets or pads, they were much more businesslike than their NFC counterparts.

10:55 a.m.-
Practice is finished. Some brief observations: Some of the lesser known players who shall remain nameless have the largest entourages. Owen Daniels has great hands. Mario Williams is enormous, but not nearly as big as Jake Long, the man is an absolute beast. Joey Porter is loud (breaking news, huh?). Kerry Collins has a very strong arm, as do obviously Peyton Manning and Jay Cutler. Ronnie Brown was the only person to hit the ground, as he slipped trying to juke…well… nobody.

11:00 a.m.-
I had a chance to talk to Brandon Marshall, Owen Daniels, Mario Williams, Peyton Manning, and Leon Washington. Each of the players were intelligent and great to speak to, and there seems to be an expectation of great things for next year amongst the Texans representatives.

11:35 a.m.-
Left practice and drove to Pearl Harbor. I'm mostly a sports guy and not so much a history buff, but some of the things you see there will make the hair on your arms stand straight up (assuming you're a super hairy guy like me). It was very educational, but it also left a really sad feeling with me. There were plenty of people crying, and although I don't have any real direct military ties, just being there gives you a sense of pride in your country and it brought back memories of 9/11.

12:45 p.m.-
Arrived back at the hotel where I had the valet park my less than awesome Suburu. Can you believe it actually costs me more money to park the car than rent it? I'm going to update the blog, check some email, and then grab lunch.

1:55 p.m.-
Went to the beach, water was freezing cold. Still, the scenery was excellent and I decided to move to the pool deck. I saw a middle aged woman who was in great shape and was surgically enhanced—that's the good news. She proceeds to lie on her stomach, and exposed an enormous tattoo of what appeared to be a giant snake eating a bird. The tattoo literally covered at least 70% of her back. Let this be a lesson to everyone: Don't get drunk and go out and get tattoos. And if you're with said drunk person, be a good friend and stop them. This has been a public service message from Charlie Bernstein (cue "the more you know" music).

3:38 p.m.-
Davone Bess is at the pool deck with an attractive female (go figure).

6:05 p.m.-
After struggling with a good dinner idea, I proceeded to hit the jackpot. I went to a Japanese restaurant called Doraku. It may have been the best meal I've ever eaten as I had an "emperor roll" which was to die for, and some Chilean sea bass. Conventional vocabulary simply cannot describe how good this meal was so I felt in necessary to invent a new word just for this meal—fantawgasmic (a cross between fantastic, awesome, and orgasmic). I know within days this is going to be a hot new word on the streets, so please credit me when you use it. Thank you.

7:18 p.m.-
I decide to get my souvenir shopping out of the way, so I did a little discount shopping and now the folks at home who are furious with me that I'm in Hawaii will receive some semi-cool gifts.

7:31 p.m.-
While walking down the street I witness a 20-something man trying to explain to what appeared to be a person who was residence-challenged the virtues of believing in Jesus. The intensity of the conversation made me chuckle a bit.

A few minutes later-
A nice lady tries to offer me anti-aging cream and tells me I look tired. Very uncool.


7:44 p.m.- I see the king, or should I say queen of all street entertainers. An attractive Asian girl on stilts. I was compelled to take a picture.

After seeing the woman on stilts, I knew the evening could only go down from there so as I'm developing a pretty bad cough, I decided to head back to the hotel and do a little typing before bed. Which brings us to now…

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